Shuffle or Boogie
by Zeff N Company
Summary: A fic prompt from Thien: In what started as a quasi-innocent Triple Triad game, Cloud demonstrates his fail-proof way of winning, and Leon demonstrates his fail-proof way of recovering lost items. LxC crack, because we can.


_A fic prompt from Thien, for "Cloud, Leon and a Triple Triad game". (Also featuring cameo from SquallxCloud OTP.)  
_

_And once again: I'm opening myself to fic prompts, in the case writer's block decides to throttle GM by the throat all over again. If there's anything you'd like to see produced as fan fiction, feel free to let me know. I may or may not answer them right away, but I will answer them as soon as I can._

_Meantime, please sit back, relax, and don't forget your seat belts._

_Writer's Advice: Audience is advised to at least know the card types in Triple Triad for full experience; article is available in the Final Fantasy Wiki.  
_

* * *

"…Yuffie."

"Yeah?"

"What is that?"

At the very blunt, very straightforward question, Yuffie followed the direction of a single finger, back down to the cards she held in her hands. The same cards she had conveniently "borrowed" from a certain brunet's room while no one knew the wiser. And as she followed the finger to which card – specifically – had garnered its wielder's interest, realization dawned on her instantly.

"O-o-o-o-o-oh…you mean, _this_?" The ninja's leer was as blatant as the confidence in her tone, even as she singled out that one card and waved it in his face like a carrot before a donkey. "It's a Triple Triad card, level 10… You want it?"

And before her, Cloud remained silent, though his eyes continued to follow the card as she flicked it back and forth like a windshield wiper, still egging him on with her words:

"You want it? Huh? You want it? You _wa-a-a-a-a-a-ant_ it?"

"Yuffie," Cloud interrupted at last, "name your terms or shut up."

In answer, Yuffie's leer widened as she returned that card to a full deck, shuffling with practiced flair. "Play for it – if you win, you get the card. If I win, well…"

"I know what you want," the blond warrior answered. "You want more of that comic porn from the stranger side of Twilight Town."

"For the last time," the ninja retorted evenly, "It's _not_ 'comic porn'; it's called _yaoi_."

"Call it whatever, just hurry up and _deal_."

"Patience, Cloud," Yuffie drawled, her hands busy shuffling away. Even as cards flew in a blur, keen blue-green eyes watched them with such intensity, it was near unnerving.

"We'll play by these rules," she stated smoothly. "Same, Same Wall, Plus, Combo, Elemental, _and_ All."

"…what in Hellfire?"

"Standard to Triple Triad." Despite her instantaneous answer, Yuffie knew just how dangerously she was playing this game; the rules she had rattled off were but names to her – names she had learnt from casual mention. What was against her was that, in actual application, she knew _jack_.

What was _for_ her, though, was that Cloud didn't know any of the rules either; neither did he know she was bluffing. If she played this right…

"Well, big guy?" she taunted, her show of faux confidence never cracking. "You still up for this?"

"…only," Cloud answered at last, looking away from her shuffling for a brief second, "if we add one more rule."

"And what rule is that?"

As a large, familiar sharp edge swathed liberally in cloth bandages appeared before her, the cards she shuffled flopped unceremoniously and gracelessly upon the dirt floor about them.

"Extortion. Now give it, or lose it."

* * *

"_WHOA!_"

As the two workers at ground level scattered before the chaotic and messy landing of the huge brick, Leon shook his head, blinking in confusion at what had just happened moments ago. He certainly did not _feel_ sick – no groggy sensations, no dulled senses accompanied by heightened paranoia, nothing that would have otherwise alerted Aerith even before he walked out the door.

That, however, did _not_ explain how he managed to sneeze hard enough to break his concentration, effectively cutting his "Float" spell off just as the brick he was levitating had reached its highest point. It was a lucky thing that the ones assisting him were quick on their feet.

One of them was still gaping like a goldfish at the huge block of concrete that had smashed clean through the pavement. The other – quicker to recover – looked back up at the committee leader warily.

"…take a break," he called back at last, earning grateful glances in means of response before the pair of them fled with haste. His jacket shifted, and then a small dark head poked out of an inner pocket to tilt up at him curiously. When he did not answer, the small animal sniffed at him, and then proceeded to scale his shirt and make its way over his shoulders.

And with Twenty Different Men breathing down his neck, Leon pondered on what had caused that sneeze, and what was further causing this strange, ominous feeling that something was off…

* * *

"Dude, I don't know if you're aware of this-"

"There's a little black imp sitting on my foot," Cloud cut off dully. "Yes, I know."

"And you're okay with that?"

"_No_," he answered darkly, glaring down at the tiny black critter that had suddenly taken to gnawing at the corner of his waist cape. Sensing his gaze upon it once more, the small winged imp met his glare evenly, and proceeded to send him a very rude gesture in solemn silence.

As sharp teeth continued to play with black fabric – thankfully, without breaking it – Cloud again humored the idea that Yuffie had tricked him into taking a cursed item of sorts. Ever since he had taken the coveted card and stashed it in a…relatively safe place, the little creature had materialized out of thin air, happily taking to riding atop the base of his toes.

Said toes still hurt from Cid mistaking that imp for a heartless and going after it – with his _nail bat_ – followed by half a dozen wannabe warriors who decided to be helpful in some way. Nothing had convinced it off him, and after a suggestion involving high explosives, Cloud was not keen to try anymore. Stay, the imp did.

At least it was a quiet little bugger, Cloud decided, instead of chattering its head off and becoming an even greater annoyance. Its silence made it easy to tolerate, along with how harmless it was – after all, it had not directly inflicted any damage upon him yet; what chances were there of it doing anything remotely painful at all?

* * *

"Yuffie?" Leon called out, slamming his drawer shut with barely suppressed irritation. "What did you do with my cards this time?"

"What makes you think _I_ took them?" The instant retort rang out at once from across the hall.

"_Yuffie_…" At the warning tone in the brunet fighter's voice, the ninja still showed a remarkable display of bravery in her denial of any truths. With an irate sigh, Leon mentally called upon the "safety measure".

"Fine; _don't_ tell me," he grunted, the spell finishing with a soft glow of obsidian and ruby light at his fingertips. "I'll find them myself…"

* * *

There was a low, guttural sound that held a dark semblance to evil laughter. As Cloud looked back down at the imp he had started to call "Turk", he startled as the winged critter disappeared into a swirling orb of darkness. Slowly, the orb rose into the air, surely getting larger and larger with each passing moment.

And then, with an explosion of dark energy, the blond warrior found "Turk" to be a lot bigger, a lot more menacing…and staring right at him.

"Turk" cackled once more and summoned up a second orb of dark energy, still staring at Cloud. The orb came up…

"…oh…"

…and the orb came down.

"…_shit_."

Barely dodging the first pelted "Gravity" spell, Cloud found himself scrambling to escape yet another, and another. The demon of black and red was still after him, calling forth an endless supply of those dreaded orbs without any difficulty.

No more doubts about it, he decided. That card was _definitely_ cursed.

* * *

Leon recognized the chaos associated with his Guardian Force at once, and sprinted for it with his gunblade drawn. It had been, admittedly, a paranoid-near-embarrassing move to have one of his many parasitic summons guard his deck like this, but ever since Yuffie had nearly lost half of them to the ducklings in Traverse Town, one could not truly be too careful.

What was happening here, proved it now. A little too well, perhaps…

As he rounded a corner, the man was promptly bowled over by a forceful dark blur of power. That blur revealed itself – seconds later – to be none other than Cloud Strife himself, and following after him…the Guardian Force.

Leveling a glare at the other – an endeavor that went unanswered – Leon raised his hand toward the demon that presented itself before them, attacks halted.

"Diablos."

Hearing his master's call, the demon snapped his clawed fingers once, dismissing the Gravity "orb" that had been poised for launch a second ago. Then, in an explosion of screeching bats that faded into non-existence, he dematerialized once more.

The roads were still vacant of civilian life – all still hiding in terror form the "savage monster" – and that was an opportunity like Leon could never ask for. With the crisis averted, he this time had his full focus upon the one beside him.

"Where is it," he demanded, earning a raised gold brow and no more.

"…where is what?"

Snorting in disgust, Leon consulted the sentry he had only just recalled. In his mind, the dark shadow that was Diablos cackled wickedly as he supplied the answer; an answer that caught Leon absolutely and completely off-guard. His face proceeded to change at least three different shades of color as he homed in on that hiding spot.

"… Strife," he asked carefully. "Can you be completely honest with me?"

"…what about?" And ignoring the rebuttal – as though it had never been sent – Leon continued with a strange pitch to his voice:

"Why do you have my card, and why is it stuffed down the front of your pants?"


End file.
